Chapter One

It was bad timing, Jake thought. Really bad timing. But, then again, time hadn't been his friend lately. And some events have a way of completely disrupting your schedule whether you want them to or not.

He had barely made it in the door of his little split-level home on the sidestreet. Home from the grind of the work day and into the chaos of the evening rituals. He was seeking a little space to transition in. Maybe five minutes with the newspaper. Hopefully, if he was lucky, a half hour with the evening news before he had to deal with "Dad, he hit me". But, as with most weeknights, it wasn't to be.

Linda saw him come in and met him in the kitchen. "You need to call your brother. Your uncle Bob died. The funeral's tomorrow", Linda told him and then dashed down the hall to break up a fight.

That certainly stopped Jake in his tracks. Uncle Bob? He hadn't thought about Uncle Bob in a long time, and hadn't seen him in even longer. He didn't even know he was sick. But, then again, in the last few years he was almost always sick so it wasn't much of a surprise. Tomorrow? How was he supposed to get away on short notice? True, he didn't have any specific meetings that he couldn't rearrange. But there were always time pressures. Always, it seemed, critical priorities that would need his attention. Could he get away on short notice?

He knew the right answer, of course. Mom would have wanted him to be there. Mom thrived on family occasions. She was from a big family and there were a lot of family occasions. But she relished them all. It revitalized her. Jake hadn't really picked up that trait, but it was in him enough that he knew what the right answer was. He just didn't want to get there.

"I'll call him after dinner".

Jake wasn't really looking forward to calling Sam. Although they didn't live more than five minutes apart, they didn't see each other very much anymore even when things were good between them. And with the way things were going at the plant there weren't many of those good days anymore. When was the last time he had even seen Sam outside of work?

Jake tried to concentrate on dinner. He tried to "be there" with his family, but that was hard even on normal nights. It took a while to get Anthony and Isaac settled down at the table. All toys off the table. All arguing stopped. Linda had prepared a nice dinner, as usual, but it was doubtful that anyone was going to fully appreciate it. "Let's pray. Good is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen". Not bad, Jake thought as he looked around the table. Passable. "Let's eat".

"Anthony, how was your day at school today?", Jake asked.

"Fine". Jake knew that was all he was going to get out of him as Anthony was already preoccupied with arranging his food on his plate just so.

"How about you, Isaac?".

"Dad, Anthony's making faces at me!"

"Okay, everyone just eat your dinner."

Jake was deep in thought anyway, and he retreated into his own world as the dinner went on without him. He was in full logistical mode - figuring out all of the options that would get him to Boone Hollow, Kentucky and back in in the least amount of time. Flying was out - there wasn't money for that. He could drive, but it would be a hardship on Linda. His car was not in condition for a long road trip and borrowing her SUV would leave her without transport for the kids for a day. He knew where this was headed. He just didn't want to get there. And how could he afford time away, anyway? Literally and figuratively.

Linda broke through his concentration. She was compassionate, obviously, but concerned as well. She started simply.

"I know that Lucille would have wanted you to be there to remember Uncle Bob".

"I know. I was thinking that earlier."

"Wasn't Lucille especially close to Uncle Bob?", Linda prompted.

"Yes, from what I know he was."

"How many of of them were there, again". Linda knew the answer to that, of course. She was just helping Jake work through this.

"I'm pretty sure there were 10 brothers and sisters to start with. With Uncle Bob passing, I think there are two left."

"Well, Lucille would have wanted you to be there." Okay, he was clear on that. He just wasn't clear on how to make it work.

With an edge of caution, Linda ventured a question. "Did you talk to the counselor today? Is there enough in the checkbook to cover a trip?"

With that, dinner ended abruptly. "Boys, clear your plates and go to your rooms. We're all going to bed early tonight."

Jake got up and started moving his plates over to the sink. Silently he settled into a routine of loading the dishwasher while Linda finished her meal alone at the table.

'The counselor' - those two words were surefire way to set off a funk in Jake. How did he get to the point in his life that he had to work with a counselor? As he rinsed and loaded the plates, he thought back to the meeting last month. That first awkward meeting with Jeannie from Personal Credit Counseling Service. Shuffling through receipts in a shoebox. Embarrased. "I don't know where our money goes. It just goes." Jake knew that it was his spending that got them there, not Linda's, and that just made it worse. And his trips to PCCS were his pennance. He owed it to Linda to straighten it out, but he hated every minute of it. Fortunately, they had worked out a budget that they were starting to live on. And fortunately, they had started a small emergency fund.

"There's money", Jake sighed after he worked out his stress with the cleaning. "Not much - it will be tight this week until I get paid again. I'll just have to keep expenses down."

And that meant a call to Sam.

"Sam, I just heard the news about Uncle Bob. I assume you're going down?"

"Of course. But I can only be out of the plant one day. I'm planning on driving straight there and back. I'm figuring it'll take 15 hours if we don't stay long after the funeral. You're welcome to ride with me." Sam didn't know of Jake's troubles. He was just being brotherly as always.

"Thanks, Sam. I appreciate that."

"I'm going to hit the road at 5am. Should I pick you up then?"

"I think so, Sam. But I haven't completely decided yet that I'm going. Why don't you swing by on your way out. If my porch light is on, I'm going. If it's off, just head on out without me."

"That's a deal. You do what you have to do. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

Jake pulled out his briefcase and hauled out the laptop. He spent an hour or two worriedly trolling through some files. Could he spare a day out of the office? He'd been traveling a lot and was looking forward to some desk time to catch up his projects. Would that have to wait another day? Could it wait another day? He was spent and he still hadn't decided. He put his work away and caught up with Linda. She already had the boys asleep and was turning in.

"Are you going?" Linda asked. "It's totally up to you. For what it's worth, I think you could use some time with Sam."

"Probably", Jake sighed as he tryed to let his exhausted body fall asleep. "I'll decide in the morning".

Jake slept fitfully. Work stuff at first, thinking through the fixes on his projects. Then - sliding into his dream. That dream. The recurring dream. Panic. Racing across campus. "I know the final exam is today, but where?". Try the physics building. Not there. How about Chem? No one in that lecture hall either. Five minutes to exam time. Where is it? "I can't miss this test. I'll fail!"
Jake woke up drenched in sweat. He knew immediately which dream he'd had. So did Linda. They both recognized it as Jake's stress dream.

"You need to go", Linda said firmly.

"I know. I'll get dressed".

Linda threw on her robe. "I'll make the coffee."

And at 4:55 am Jake kissed Linda and sent her back to bed. "Have a good trip. Be safe", she said as she shuffled sleepily down the hall. Jake flicked on the porch light and had a seat on his steps. He had just enough time for his thoughts to drift back to that first meeting with his counselor, Jeannie. Sitting across her desk and looking at the pile of bills stacked up next to his pay stub.

"Listen Jake", Jeannie frowned. "The simple fact is that you owe way more than you're worth. That's the fact. You are what we in the business call being completely 'upside down' ".

Sam honked as he pulled in the drive, pulling Jake from his thoughts. As he got in Sam's van, he wondered - "How did I get to be so upside down?".

Jake would figure out on his trip that he was upside down in more ways than just money.