Chapter Thirteen

“Okay, Sam. Here’s a question”, Jake said suddenly. He still had his eyes closed and Sam had thought that he had drifted off into a nap. “I know what I remember most from the camping trip at the lake that summer. Obviously. How could I not. My question is, what do you remember from that week?”

Sam thought about that, but not for long. “I remember being out on the boat with Dad and Uncle Bob fishing and talking. You weren’t there, though, so you wouldn’t have seen that part. I’m not really sure where you were most of the time that week.”

The Dunbars had arrived at the lakehouse for the camping trip with Uncle Bob and Aunt Verdela both excited from getting to see so many family members and shaken from the incident at the Falls. What they needed most was that week was uneventful quiet time in the woods. Lucille especially, who’s nerves were a little bit shattered by the scare and by riding in the car with three males for so long. She had permission to just sit out on the porch and rock with Verdela while the boys went out fishing every day.

Now that Jake thought about it, it was probably stretching it a bit to call it a “camping trip” given that they were staying at a trailer that was fairly luxurious by camping standards in those days and not in a tent. Uncle Bob did have a small canvas tent that he erected next to the house for the boys to sleep in for a couple of nights to get the camping experience. Sam and Jake stayed out there all night with Uncle Bob’s son, Robert Jr. or Bobby for short. Their daughter Diana stayed inside the house with everyone else during those nights so that the boys could feel free to roughhouse and pass gas and generally do what boys think is funny at that age.

Uncle Bob had a new power boat that he wanted to try out, so the afternoons consisted of either boating around the lake or water skiing. Neither Jake or Sam had ever gotten to try water skiing before and they were thrillled. Sam was able to get up on his skis easily and he made a few passes around the lake. It was harder for Jake. He kept trying to pop up too early and he took a few nasty spills on his face before he got the hang of it. But once he got the hang of it he was indestructible and fearless. He would cut sharply back and forth across the waves and even tried skiing on just one ski. Jake kept going and going until they all finally got tired of driving the boat for him and they headed back to shore.

They used the boat for fishing trips also that week. Jake hated fishing and always found an excuse not to go. It was the fishing, though, that was the highlight each day for Sam. Uncle Bob did not even have to shake him awake at the first light of dawn. He always found Sam already out of bed and ready to go out onto the lake. For Sam, it was just a continuation of the good experience that he had the previous summer here with Uncle Bob and he fell right back into the rhythms of the water and the fish. Edward was a different story. His heart was eager to be out on the water with Bob and Sam enjoying quality time and creating memories, but his body took a day or two to get with the program. He had to be “encouraged” to get out of bed and get going, even threatened with a dousing of cold water. He was fine once Bob got them out on the water and guided them to the fishing hole. But he was a little rusty in the finer arts of the bait and the cast. Edward feigned ignorance a few times to let Sam have the experience of showing him how it was done. The fish were biting that week and they always came home with dinner for everyone who wanted it.

Being all men, most of the time in the boat was spent in silence once they found their spot. There wasn’t a need for a lot of talking to spoil the enjoyment of the experience and Edward was enjoying the quiet of nature contrasted with the chaos of his classroom or the noise of the factory. It always amazed him how quiet it could be out here on the water and how the noise of a duck would carry to him from a great distance off.

Diana felt somewhat out of place in this large group as the only girl, among the kids at least. She liked the lake house and had even helped her dad as he was remodeling it and adding the screened in porch. She was a pretty and feminine young lady who preferred shopping and makeovers when she was in town, but she had gotten to be handy with a nail gun and a paintbrush here at the lake house. Diana was not very fond of the boat and she mostly liked to stay close to the house. In the mornings she would swim out in the lake, always with a life vest on and always a safe distance from the house. In the afternoons she liked to go visiting with the neighbors on the adjoining lots. She helped with the food preparation in the early evening, preferring to work on the salads and beverages and not the freshly skinned catch of the day. The evenings around the campfire were her favorite part of the day because of the yummy marshmallows and chocolate treats that she got to cook on the fire with a long stick picked fresh from the treestand at the edge of the lot. She was a little picky about how her marshmallows were cooked and had to have them burned just the right amount.

The campfire was the central meeting place for everyone in the group in the evenings and on the last night together they all gathered there. They would have some final time in the morning and then the Dunbars would be pulling up stakes, figuratively of course, and heading back north to their home. An evening chill settled in from the lake and everyone pulled up their chairs as Edward built a roaring fire. The campfire naturally became a segregated place at the beginning with the women sitting together talk about family comings and going and the men sharing their tall tales of the fish that they bested that day. Or the one that stole their bait and eluded their hooks. The boys talked loudly and gestured wildly, with Jake leading the pack with an animated retelling of a particularly spectacular wipeout on the waterskis that he had barely survived.

After a while Edward called for everyone’s attention and conducted a combination mini-church service and prayer meeting in order to have some quality family time as a group. First Edward thanked God and Uncle Bob and Verdela for providing for them providentially to be able to come on this trip. That choked everyone up a little until Edward moved along. He asked Lucille to start them off with a song, an acapella hymn, that she would know from her choir group. He asked Uncle Bob to read a short passage of scripture, something either from Psalms or from Proverbs that would have a lesson for the kids and was short enough not to lose their attention. Then he went around the group, one by one, and had everyone tell about something that God had blessed them with recently. Lucille was grateful that God had protected the boys from certain death back at the Falls. Sam mentioned Marie, of course, and that he had made it out of school. Jake typically was thankful for a new gadget he had won at school in a oratorical contest. It was a new electronic item that he had never seen before called a “handheld calculator” with 6 bright red LED digits and if he punched in the right numbers and turned it upside down it spelled out the word “hello”! After everyone had a chance to say something Edward closed in a simple heartfelt prayer and they resegregated back in their groups for a while before bedtime.

Sam was caught suspended between the groups, not quite part of the kids group because he had graduated from school now but not yet comfortable in the adult group. He mostly sat quietly near Edward and Bob and took in their conversation without contributing much of his own thoughts. He missed Marie and wanted to get back home to her soon. But he also enjoyed his time her and he had an inkling that this may be his last time here as he started assuming life’s responsibilities on his own. Uncle Bob had become his mentor on his trip here last year and Sam was hoping to get some time alone with him tomorrow to ask some advice about marriage and work and life in general. Bob saw Sam glancing at him several times and sensed that he wanted to talk. He decided to find a way to facilitate a talk with Sam and Edward tomorrow and guide them along toward an understanding of each other.

Eventually the fire began to wane and Lucille started shepherding the kids into the tents for a good night’s sleep. They were still wound up and would be awake for a while telling ghost stories and giggling, but she got the process started. Verdela retired inside and Bob and Edward stayed out at the fire for a while for some time to relax by themselves without the family. They settled back into their chairs, exhausted by the day, and talked without much conviction about whether the St. Louis Cardinals or the Cincannati Reds would be going to the World Series this year.

“Edward, I’ve got something on my mind that I need to ask you while we’re here”, Bob started out.

“Okay, shoot.”

“Has Sam talked with you any recently about anything that might be bothering him?”

Edward thought for a minute before answering him. This caught him a little by surprise and he searched his memory. “No. Nothing that comes to mind.”

“Well, I hesitate to say anything at all, but I feel like I should.”

“By all means, Bob. You know you can say anything to me that you need to. Sam can too, for that matter.”

“I know that Edward. But I’m not sure that Sam does.”

“Sam is a good kid. I can’t think what might be bothering him.”

“Sam is a fine young man, now Edward. He’s not a kid anymore. He’s a high school graduate, after all.”

“Yes, I know. I was there.”

“I know you were, and so does Sam. It’s just that you have to work a lot and you may not be able right now to give them all of the attention that you want to and that they might be needing. That’s not a judgement, Edward. Just an observation. You can tell me if I’m stepping on any toes here.”

“No, you’re not. I can’t argue with what you just said. I’m just trying to do right by them and provide for them some of the things that I didn’t have growing up down here.”

“No one can fault you for that, my friend. It’s inspirational and amazing how hard you work for your family’s benefit. You are a good man, and don’t let me or anyone else tell you any different.”

Edward frowned as he stared into the fire, not sure where this conversation was heading. “I try to make time for Sam and for Jake. And for Lucille too, for that matter. I guess what you are trying to tell me is that it’s not enough.”

“I can’t tell you that. I’m not in a position to know. It is good to see you all here getting some down time together. That’s all I’m saying.”

Edward let that settle for a few minutes as he restoked the fire a little bit. He decided not to add any more firewood for the night to let it start going out. He thought through what Bob had told him so far. Sure, work took a lot out of him. It had taken a lot out of his own father as well. That was just the way it was when you had to work for a living and provide for a family. God knows they were not rich by any means. What was he supposed to do? Teaching school was hard work and took up time inside the school day and outside of it as well. It was common for Edward to bring home a stack of student’s papers to grade after dinner and to stay up late in the night after the kids went to bed to get them all graded and back the next day. He had to prepare material in advance for each day’s lessons for the kids. He also had to prepare lessons for his Sunday School class that he taught at the church each weekend. He worked long hours at the factory in the summer, overtime when he could get it, and was exhausted each night from the hard physical labor by the time he got home.

“Bob, you know how hard I work. I’m doing the best that I can to keep everything together. Why should I have to feel bad or apologize about that?”

“You don’t have to, Edward. Certainly not to me. I admire you more than you know. Besides, I’m not talking about you here. Honestly, I’m not. I’m talking about Sam and about how he’s doing. He’s worried about a few things.

“I believe you, Bob. I guess. But you’ve got me puzzled now. How would you know that things are bothering Sam when I don’t? Or Lucille. If things were bothering him she would know and she would have told me about them. How would you know from all the way down in Boone Hollow?”

“That’s a good question. I can imagine that would puzzle you. The answer to that simple question is that I have know that things were bothering Sam since last year when he spent the summer down here with me. We had a lot time together and he shared a lot of his thoughts with me.”

Edward had already forgotten that Sam had spent that summer here at the lake. Mentally he knew it as an empirical fact. But their busy lives had moved on and he had not given it any thought since then. It suddenly made sense to Edward that Sam would have found it easier to talk to someone other than his own dad, who he both admired and feared, and Uncle Bob would have been a good choice for someone to confide in. Kids struggled growing up to find direction and answers and if Sam had found a mentor, even if it wasn’t himself, then Edward was relieved.
Edward leaned over and looked thoughtfully at Bob. “First off, let me say thanks for being there for Sam if he needed guidance. I’m deeply grateful. I mean that.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Second, what’s going on with him, if you can share it with me. I don’t want to break any confidences that he may hold in you. That would be bad.”

“I don’t have any problem sharing with you what Sam told me. It’s nothing confidential. And besides, he needs to hear from you at this point.”

“Well, let me have it. Is it drugs?”

“No, Edward”, Bob assured him. “It’s nothing illegal or dangerous or fatal. It’s two things really, and they are tied together. Sam is struggling with how to step out and make his way in the world now that he’s done with high school. He knows what he wants. He originally had a different plan, he told me. He wanted to move back to Kentucky after graduation and live back here. But Marie changed all of that. He’s in love with her and he wants to be there with her. His new plan is to marry her and to settle down there with her and start a family together. He plans on working at the factory until he retires. That’s what he wants.”

“I had some awareness of all that, I guess”, Edward said. “It sounds like he has thought it all through and that he knows what he wants. But you said he was struggling. What is he struggling with?”

“You, Edward. He’s struggling with you. He doesn’t know how you will react to all of this and he is deeply worried about disappointing you.”

That hit Edward right between the eyes and he was immediately saddened that he might have caused his oldest boy any worry at all. How could that be? Didn’t Sam know how proud he was of him? Maybe not, if Bob was sizing up the situation correctly. Edward thought it through for a few minutes as they sat silently by the dying fire. After some rumination, Edward realized that his own history was working against him in this situation. He had related to Sam many times the story of how proud Edward’s own parents had been of him to be the first in the family to rise out of their humble situation and go to college. Maybe he had made too much of that story, and he hadn’t meant telling it to glorify himself. He was just so happy to have made his parents proud.

“Is he worried that he will disappoint me because he won’t be going to college after all?”, Edward eventually asked.

“It’s not for him, Edward. He admires what you did and all, but it’s just not for him. College is not important to him and it doesn’t fit what he wants to do. Surely, you can see that.”

“I do, Bob. Of course I do. And I wouldn’t want anything but the best for Sam, whatever that means for him. He has to be his own man, and that’s the lesson I wish I would have taught him by now. Wow. Thank you for sharing this with me, Bob. You are a dear friend. Now I see how your sister put up with you for all of these years”, he kidded. “Let’s put this fire out and get some sleep and I’ll talk with Sam tomorrow.

Edward had a long night of fitful sleep as he wrestled with what Bob had told him. It was what he had once heard called a “dark night of the soul” and he was troubled that he had caused Sam any discomfort about his future. In his exhaustion he realized that he could not go back and undo the past. What was done was done and it was the only way he knew how to do it in the first place. But he could calm Sam’s worries and he would not leave this place until he had done that. Early the next moring he woke up early with Sam and they headed out on the lake by themselves. Uncle Bob made excused himself from the trip with feigned protests of all of the work that needed to be done to button down the house on this last day of the trip. Edward and Sam did not catch anything on that last trip, but they did have a heart to heart talk about what the future held for each of them. Edward initated the talk and let Sam spill it all out in his own way and he used all of his compassionate ministry skills that he had learned at church, this time in the service of his own son. It was the longest and best talk that they had had in many years and Sam came away refreshed that his father would accept his choices.

After they had tied up the boat at the dock for the last time, Sam started walking toward the lake house. Edward stopped him, turned him around, and hugged him deeply for several minutes.

“You are fine man, Sam Dunbar. I’m proud to be your father and I want you to know that always, whatever comes. I’m proud of you and I have every confidence that you will have a good life with Marie, if that’s what you choose. It’s your life. It’s not mine and it’s not your mother’s. It’s yours. Do right by God, and do right by your family and that’s all I can ask. I want you to know we love you and will always be behind you.”

“Thank you, Dad. That’s all I needed to know. I love you and Mom, too, and I hope you guys know that too. By the way, I plan on proposing to Marie when we get home.”

“Well son, that is great news. And let’s not keep your Mother from hearing it. We have to hit the road.”

Their moment on the dock was interrupted by the sound of Lucille screaming as she ran down the dock to meet them.

“Jake!”, she yelled. “Is Jake with you?”

Edward caught her as she ran for the tied up boat. “What’s the matter, Lucille? Why are you yelling?”

“Jake’s missing!”