Chapter Sixteen

The parking lot of the funeral home was full when they pulled in and some gentlemen in suits were standing outside to greet the new arrivals and to guide them into place in the processional line, ready for the departure to the cemetary. Jake, of course, did not recognize any of the vehicles. Most of them had Kentucky license plates with a few out of state vehicles mixed in. Sam slowed the van to a stop at their place in the line of cars and a friendly man in a suit passed by with a welcoming nod of condolence as he paused to attach a magnetic flag to the hood of the van. He motioned them toward the entrance where Jake and Sam could go in to join the others.

The sign out front said “Pressman and Sons Funeral Home” and, as a one of the few remaining family businesses in the funeral trade, Jake guessed that there were at least a few of the sons outside greeting visitors. That was a reassuring thought. In the fast paced corporate world that he moved in acquaintances and connections with people were shallow and fleeting. Clearly, thought Jake, this was different. This was more than a business to a family that provided a needed service to the families in their town for generations. The Pressmans were servants to their community, and Jake took a moment to notice them.

As he sat gathering his thoughts, Jake took a minute to take in the funeral home itself as well. It was a grand building from the outside, a solid old mansion of stately architecture and culture. Though it was nestled in to the growing downtown of Boone Hollow with it’s modern office buildings and stores, the funeral home was a reminder to visitors and passersby alike that there was a history to this town that was faded but not gone. The main structure was a two story building, white with odd shaped windows on the second story and a black iron rimmed balcony held up by two massive pillars. In the back was a detached garage, a miniature version of the main house, that sheltered the hearse. The grounds were immaculately kept with neatly trimmed hedges along the house and flower gardens lining the walkways. It was both impressive and calming to the grieving family members.

“Let’s go inside”, Sam said as he got out of the van. “The service will be starting soon.”

Jake took in a long slow steadying breath as he stepped out of the vehicle. He had not been to many funerals at all in his life and had, in fact, missed most of the family ones. Uncles and aunts and even on one ocassion that now unexepectedly crossed his mind, a grandparent. He had been struggling in college when his grandfather died and opted to stay there and take finals rather than making the trip home. He felt badly then and instantly felt badly now. “Sorry, Papaw. I screwed that up”, he thought to himself. It had made sense to him at the time. He even convinced himself that everyone would understand his choice even though he had a nagging feeling at the time that it wasn’t a good choice. It certainly wasn’t a choice that Sam would have made. Wow. It was really that simple now that he looked back on it – he should have made the sacrifice to be there. With the years of time separating the decision, it wasn’t even a close call now. Family should have come first. “Why couldn’t I see that then?”, Jake thought with a little tug of despair. Family should have come first.

Jake was starting to feel the butterflies in his stomach and he had a pretty good understanding of why. This was different than walking into a business presentation or a team meeting. It should be easier than those, he thought. This is family. They know me. I don’t have to be “on” for anyone. I don’t have to sell anyone on anything. They’re family. I just have to be here. But it was harder than those business activities, Jake realized. He knew how to be good at those other activities and was in fact one of the best at it. But not here. Here he was out of his element. And just “being here” wasn’t something he had a lot of experience with or felt comfortable with. “Wow”, he thought with that dawning realization. “Why would being with my own family make me nervous?”

“Sam, this may sound strange”, Jake said as he caught up with his brother, “but I’m going to need some help here.”

“What kind of help?”

“Well, help remembering people for starters. You may have noticed, but it’s been a while since I was in Boone Hollow.”

“That’s an understatement, brother” Sam said. “What do you want to know.”

Jake thought about that for a moment. “Well, I’m pretty sure I will remember Uncle Bob's kids - Bobby Jr and Diana. I think. And Mom’s brothers and sisters. But I’m going to get shaky on the cousins pretty quickly. And there’s no way I’m going to recognize their husbands or wives or kids.”

“I think you’ll do better than that. It will come back to you.”

“Maybe”, said Jake hesitantly. “But stick close by me anyway. Bail me out if you see me in trouble.”

“You got it, Jake. Now let’s get inside to pay our respects before the service starts.”

Jake looked at his watch and saw that they had about a half hour yet easily. The butterflies in his stomach weren’t settled yet, and he decided to delay the inevitable for a few more moments. “You go on inside, Sam. I need to call Linda quickly and check in.”

“Okay”, said Sam. “But don’t be too long, all right?”

Jake nodded affirmatively as he peeled off away from the walkway leading into the home and went around the corner back toward the garage for some privacy. He retrieved his cell phone from his jacket pocket, realizing in the back of his mind that this was the longest period his cell phone had been off in years, and turned it back on to hit the speed dial entry for Linda. She should be well into her day’s routine by now, he thought, but he hoped that she would answer.

“Hi Jake”, she said sweetly. She sounded surprised to hear from him and even the greeting had the sound of a question to it. He was glad that she answered. “Did you get to Boone Hollow on time?”

“We did, actually, with a little time to spare. Sam did an excellent job getting us here. How are the kids this morning?”

“The boys are fine and they got off to school all right. Anthony was grouchy and had a cold, but I sent him anyway."

"That's good. I'm sorry you have a tough morning every day getting them ready for school. I wish I was there to help."

"You sound a little odd, Jake” Linda said with a worried tone. “Distracted, maybe. Is everything all right.”

“Yes, I’m fine”, Jake answered unconvincingly.

“Is anything wrong at work”.

“I don’t know actually. Believe it or not I seem to have tuned out of work today.”

“You’re kidding me. You mean they haven’t called you yet with an emergency?”

“I wouldn’t know Linda. I’ve turned off my cell phone all day and even stashed my laptop away in my briefcase. I think I’ll leave it all off today and be unconnected.”

“Wow, Jake. That’s a big step. What brought that on?”

“I’m not really sure, Linda. I’ve just been thinking a lot on the drive down here.”

“Thinking about what, Jake?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A bunch of stuff. Family stuff, mostly. It’s kind of strange.”

“Jake, honey. Listen to me. That’s not unusual. You are going to a funeral today. You should be thinking about family today, and I’m glad to hear that you are. Really. Are you thinking about Uncle Bob?”

“Well, yes and no. I remember Uncle Bob and all of that. Not as well as Sam does, apparently, but I remember him. But it’s more than that. I keep remembering all of these stories about growing up. Strange stories. Unimportant stories. Growing up stories about our family. And about Dad. I guess I’m thinking about Dad a lot today.”

“Jake, baby, that’s a good thing. It’s one of the things that funerals are good for – remembering. Is it bothering you? You sound troubled.”

“I don’t know, really. I guess I’m uneasy but I don’t really know why.”

“Jake, listen to me. Are you listening?”

“Of course, I am Linda. What?”

“I want you to do something for me today.”

“If I can. What is it?”

“I want you to tune in, Jake. Pay attention. It’s okay to be feeling how you are feeling. You’re with your family. Your Mom would want you to be there and I’m glad you are there. They need you today and guess what? You need them too. So tune in and just be there. Do you understand me?”

“Sure, I guess”, said Jake.

“Don’t guess, Jake. That’s an order.”

“I’ll do my best, Linda. I have to sign off and get inside. I’ll call you when we’re on the road. Love you.”

“I love you, too, Jake. I’ll be thinking about you and praying for your family today.”

Jake signed off and looked up to see where he was. He had been pacing as he talked and had ended up back up by the entrance. He turned off his phone, straightened his tie and jacket, and - with the butterflies still churning - headed inside.